Most people don't realise why they are unhappy. They tend to blame everything in their life for their misery, yet the solution for happiness lies within them. 

Try and relate with any of these;

  1. You feel like your life is falling apart
  2. You feel like you don't have a reason to live anymore
  3. Nothing in life is working out for you
  4. Things never go as you plan
  5. Insert similar issue

Can you relate to any of these? If you can, then I assume you are not truly happy. And you need to understand these 5 things if you want to live a happier life.

1. Happiness comes from within

And no, I'm not just telling you some cliche quote I saw on someone's instagram. This is a Zen way of looking at life, and a way to achieve inner peace. 

Many people think that having a lot of money or success would bring them true happiness. I admit that money does influence happiness to some extent. You know, like somebody once said,

Whoever said money doesn't buy happiness didn't know how to spend it.

And I don't disagree with the sentiment. However, money doesn't assure happiness. Money offers comfort which can influence happiness. But money doesn't guarantee happiness. If money and success was truly the source of all happiness, there wouldn't be so many unhappy rich and successful people in life. 

So what you have to understand is, that happiness has to come from within. If you're constantly unsatisfied with how things are, no matter how much you have in life, you'll still be unhappy. 

Here's one thing you should do. If you're unsatisfied with the way things are in your life, look at people who are less fortunate than you. And if you're reading this article, chances are that you're most likely privileged enough to have the basic necessities in your life. Understand that most people in life don't even have the basic necessities covered. There's people fleeing war, homeless, lack education, lack shelter, lack medication and the list goes on.

Stop comparing yourself with those who have more. That will only offer dissatisfaction and unhappiness. Start comparing yourself with those who have less and you will realise how blessed you are. 

2. Let go of your past

I'm sure this is something everyone can relate to. Because everybody has something in their past that bothers them. 

But here's the thing, you can't change your past and undo the things that happened. So why waste time thinking about it? Whatever happened, let it go. Understand that bad things happen to everyone and everyone has had some bad experience in their past. But holding on to it won't make things any better.

Starting today, forget what's gone, appreciate what remains and look forward to what's coming next.

3. Stop worrying too much

We as human beings cannot help it. We worry too much. While it's important to have perspective in life, worrying too much about things that are out of your control is never a productive or healthy way of doing things. 

Understand one thing; life is unpredictable. No matter how much you try, you cannot control your present or your future. The best you can do is prepare for the worst and hope for the best.

4. Learn to let go

Whether it's someone or something, learn to let go. If something is not meant to stay in your life, there is nothing you can do about it. Trying to hold on to the pain won't do you any good.

Understand that life is unfair. Whatever you lost may have been unfair to you but holding on to the misery will do you no good. So, wake up on a new day, and start a new way.

Not everything is meant to stay in your life forever

5. Expect nothing, appreciate everything

If I had a dollar for every time someone disappointed me, I wouldn't have to work so hard to make money. 

Understand that people disappoint, people lie, people cheat. Understand that there are the good ones and the bad ones, and the good ones that turn into bad ones. 

I've found that the best way to deal with people is to have as little expectations as possible. And I've learnt to appreciate the little things in life. Trust me, that's a happier way to live.

So, what is the bottom line?

If you've been hurt and you think your life is a mess, congratulations you're not the only one. And I know all these points I've made are easier said than done. But being happy is not easy task. 

I've been hurt, I've been played. And I've realised that the only way to live happily is to accept things the way they are. Happiness lies in finding peace within yourself. And for that you must learn to let go and move on. 

Three presumably happy people. Photo courtesy: Unsplash/Ben White